Today’s post is a little different, it’s something that has been on my mind since I left the hospital. At night when the room was quiet, and I was sitting, staring at the incubator I would find myself googleing.. trying to find hope, trying to find answers, trying to not feel so alone. So if this post doesn’t pertain to you feel free to skip it. But if you found this post by googling me, I am so very sorry. That must mean you are at the hospital unfairly watching your little baby. I know that you are terrified, you’re an emotional wreck, and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I want you to know that you are not alone.
You may feel helpless…but try to remember that you aren’t. Your baby hears you, smells you, maybe even feels you. To that little person you aren’t helpless at all, you are comfort…you are all they know.
You are terrified…nothing is in your control, and answers are hard to come by. When the fear creeps in just remind yourself of the postive information that you’ve been receiveing. No piece of information is to small, it all helps lead to the road home.
You want answers…It’s so hard not to ask the Doctors when your baby can expect to come home, or why this is happening to them. But unfortunately they may not know. When they have answers you’ll have answers. Just try to give them some time. Although you are anxious to leave, you only want to do that if your baby is healthy enough not to come back.
You are sadder then you’ve ever been…and there’s nothing I can say to take that pain away. All I can recommend is when you are alone and the sadness strikes it’s ok to cry, cry hard. Sob like a baby until nothing else comes out. And when it stops just take a few breaths and remember the light at the end of the tunnel will come.. it may not be in sight yet but just keep an eye out for it.
You feel alone.. just remember that people are there for you should you need them. If you don’t want to talk, don’t talk. If you need a friend, reach out. Take what you need when you need it.. everyone should understand.
You feel like this will never end… but it will. Once your baby stabilizes you will feel a little more settled. You still won’t be happy..but you should eventually feel a bit more content knowing that one day you will go home together.
Stay strong… it will be over soon. xo, Dee