I’ve yet to meet a Mom who doesn’t hold some form of Mom Guilt…crap, I’d like to meet a Mom that only has one!
Mom guilt is the kryptonite to our super power, it’s the devil on our shoulder, it’s damaging, it’s motivation, it’s fear…it’s unavoidable. If we didn’t have a need to please, to compete, to be accepted, to blend in on the playground..maybe we wouldn’t feel so guilty. If no one read books, conflicting parenting articles, called doctors, searched for answers…maybe we would be a bit more sane. If being a Mom came with a secret teacher who could follow you around and grade you at the end of the day..maybe we wouldn’t have to worry so much.
Probably not though. Unfortunately, being a Mom means you have a 24/7 job. Your constantly caring, thinking, worrying, stressing whether they are in sight or not. Being a Mom means you are responsible for a human besides yourself, you need to make sure they learn to talk, eat multiple times a day, poop a normal amount of times a week, play, laugh, get driven from point a to point b. Not to mention, make sure they study so that they can get good grades, guide them so they gain good morales, show them how to be polite, encourage them to have aspirations. And hope, that you are doing it right.
Being a Mom means you get hugs for payments, you get teary eyed when they do something right, you laugh when they laugh, you cry when they cry, you sometimes forget the magic of it all. Being a Mom consumes you, it’s easy to lose sight. When you are always doing, worrying, thinking it’s easy to slip…to yell, to punish, to get frustrated sometimes it’s warranted…sometimes it’s not. But we do it. I do it, my friends say they do it, it’s normal. But it doesn’t feel normal…que the Mom guilt.
I’m not sure all guilt is bad…sometimes it can be healthy. It can make you strive to be the best person that you can possibly be. It’s bad when you forget all the good that you are doing, all the love that you give, all the hats that you wear, and all the life lessons that you’re teaching. Being a Mom doesn’t mean perfection, not for you and not from them. As much as we want to be the perfect Mother, we need to remember that she only exists on TV. We need to cut ourselves some slack, maybe pat ourselves on the back, reflect without comparing, and be proud of all the accomplishments we’ve already achieved.
So if you lost your cool today, or maybe didn’t play as much as you would’ve liked, if you were looking at your phone during dinner, or never bothered to cook.. just remember it’s ok. Your ok, it was just a bad day, stop being your own worst enemy…just be the Mom that your kid already thinks you are.
I’ll try to stop obsessing if you do… xo, Dee